I want to introduce you to my friends Who Cares and Why Not. One big key to forging your unique personal style is to stop obsessing over what you THINK other people are thinking about the way YOU look. Sorry to burst your bubble, but most of the time they are not thinking about you at all. So, stop obsessing!
I love this quote by Simon Doonan from his book Eccentric Glamour: “As you experiment with your appearance, you must remember that by feeling self-conscious you are merely indulging yourself. Nobody is judging you… People are much too busy worrying about their own lives to ask why you are dressed like Wolf Blitzer.”
Simon came to this sudden realization while dressed head to toe as Queen Elizabeth II, crown and all. His doorman approached him when Simon entered the lobby of his building dressed in aforementioned drag. The doorman, unfazed, asked Simon if he’d like his mail now or later. Simon could not believe the doorman hadn’t said anything to him about his ridiculous garb. The truth is, the doorman hardly noticed and Simon instantly understood “the utter pointlessness of ever being self-conscious…”
When I am working in a client’s closet, I am often asked, “Is this still in?” I like to respond to that question with two questions: “Who cares? Do you love it?” I have items in my closet that date from the 1950’s to the present. Clearly, you are asking the wrong person. I don’t give a lot of thought to whether or not an item is trendy or ‘in.’ If you love the piece in question, the two things I want you to focus on are: (a) does the item flatter you? and (b) is the item is representative of your style? If you can answer yes to both questions, keep it and wear it.
The next questions I am asked, many times after I assemble an outfit they would not have put together themselves, “Can I wear those together? Can I do that?” That’s when I like to introduce my clients to my friend Why Not. Of course you can! I wouldn’t have put it together if it didn’t work. Don’t worry, just try it. Your friends will wish they’d thought of it. I often encourage my clients to use creativity and to try things in combination that they haven’t before.
When you begin experimenting with your style, employing the help of your new friends Who Cares and Why Not, you may find yourself making a few mistakes. Don’t think of them as mistakes. You simply didn’t enjoy what you put together. That’s good. If you don’t make a few “mistakes,” you’ll never learn how to create a unique style that is perfectly and wholly your own. Now stop worrying and start playing for heaven’s sake!
