Happy Valentine’s Week! Today, I read in an email: “…self-love is just as important as the love we share with others. Prioritizing rest, nourishment, and the small daily rituals that ground us is an act of love – one that ripples outward.” Truly, the best way to love others is to start with yourself. Loving your style and your wardrobe is an act of self-love, in my opinion. Your day often starts in your closet, deciding what to wear. Loving your wardrobe options provides the support needed to start your day in a joyful, peaceful way.
HOW does one fall in love with what’s in their closets? The #1 way to love what is in your closet is to develop your personal style. When you know your style, you know what belongs in your wardrobe, and you begin dressing in a way that expresses who you are.
Your Personal Style: The Three-Word Method
I recently finished reading a book called Wear it Well by stylist Allison Bornstein. In it, she describes her three-word method with her clients. I help clients pinpoint their style using a similar method. Words are powerful. If you can find three words that describe your style and the message you’d like to communicate, it makes a big difference in how you shop and get dressed.
Finding Your Style Words
This part takes time and patience. However, it’s important and worth the time and effort.
- First, ask a few friends to describe you and your style. Sometimes it’s easier to start by seeing ourselves through the eyes of others. This allows us to see ourselves in a positive light.
- Second, make a style board. Making a visual of what you love (whether fashion or otherwise) is deeply telling. Your style board is your story unfolding. Write down a few words that summarize the mood of your board. I suggest Pinterest for making a style board. I have a physical book. See it here.
- Third, pull out a few favorite things. They can be anything you love from around your house; they don’t have to be fashion related. Describe your favorite things.
- Lastly, look at all the words you have gathered: friends’ words, style board words, and favorite things words. Is there a theme or repetition? What is the general sense of those words? Write down a few favorite words and start there. Don’t wait until your style words are perfect. You can tweak them at any time.
Style Word Ideas
If nailing down your style to three words does not work for you, opt for a few word groupings as shown here. These are some of my favorite style word combinations for my clients:
Creative Classic ~ Polite Rebel ~ Quietly Bold
Classic with Edge ~ Feminine Touches ~ A little “Wow”
Casual Elegance ~ Naturally Radiant ~ Calmly Joyful
Classic is a common starting point. If you like classic items and see lots of classic pieces in your wardrobe, you might have a style based in classics that needs further description. Some favorites: edgy classic, feminine classic, laid-back classic, elegant classic, French classic, and so forth.
I’ve had a few style word combos over the years:
Modern Feminine with a Bit of Wow (my original style words)
Bright ~ Joyful ~ Glam (post-COVID style words)
Expressive French Classic (current style words)
Your style words evolve as you evolve. You can keep the same style words for years if they feel true to you; however, don’t be afraid to adjust them as needed.
Allow Room for Curiosity
Remain curious and open as you dress in your style and observe others’ styles. Take notice of what you love about someone else’s style. You may not want to copy their style, but there’s something there that sparks you. Ask yourself, “How can I make that my own?” or “What is it about that look that I really love?” Maybe it is as simple as enjoying seeing someone being themselves. Seize that for yourself.
See Yourself in a Positive Light
Great style and a supportive wardrobe come from a place of knowing you are lovely and wonderful. When you see yourself for all the wonderful things you are rather than the things you are not, great style can emerge. Do not allow your mind to linger on your “flaws.” It will hinder your style and wardrobe development.
See Yourself in Your Wardrobe
I heard something on a podcast recently that stuck with me: “Do you have stuff that belongs to the person you no longer are?” Remember your wardrobe reflects where you are in life right now and WHO you are. Maybe you’re holding onto a handful of suits you will never wear again or cocktail dresses that are collecting dust. It’s okay to let pieces from the past go. If you one day need a suit or a cocktail dress, the old pieces in your closet will not work. They will feel like they belong to a person you used to be.
Your Style is Yours
Does your wardrobe reflect choices you’ve made, or does it echo others’ ideas? Everyone has their own opinions of what they like to see you wearing. Your opinion is the only one that matters, however. Turn off the outside noise, and dress in a way that pleases you. If they love it, great. If they don’t, that’s not your problem.
You Make the Rules
Some of us were taught the “right” way to dress. Now, we understand that rules are fine, but they can hold us back. Old style rules keep us from experimenting with new ways of dressing. Maybe you were told certain colors don’t go together. It’s possible the colors do work together, but the person who imparted the advice does not like those colors together. A client of mine was told that blue and black worn together looks like a bruise. Wrong. Navy and black is a chic color combination. Scrutinize the rules you learned and see if there is room to develop a new set of guidelines for yourself.
Need Help?
Helping clients find their style words and dress their style is one of my specialties. If this is something you’d like help with, email me. I’m here to make the style part of your life easy and stress-free.
Make 2025 the year you learn to love your authentic style. When you inhabit your personal style, everyone benefits! The catwalk awaits. See you out there!
