Earlier this year, I enjoyed a book by stylist Allison Bornstein titled Wear it Well, Reclaim Your Closet & Rediscover the Joy of Getting Dressed. I heard Allison speak on a couple of podcasts, and I liked what she had to say. To satisfy my curiosity, I bought her book.
These are my biggest takeaways from the book. Hang in there with me. This is a longer post but worth it.
Three Style Words
Allison walks her clients through a process of determining three style words. This is something I, too, have done with my clients for over a decade. To make the process easier for her clients, Allison breaks the three words down as follows:
- The realistic word – describes the looks you wear all the time.
- The aspirational word – describes the style you most admire on others and want for yourself. This word pulls your style forward.
- The emotional word – describes how you want to feel in your clothing.
As Allison explains, the mix of these words tells your story. She wrote that the three words might be opposites or may not seem to go together. This makes sense since we are multi-dimensional. We can be more than one thing at once. Instead of looking at each garment to speak your words to you, aim for your overall appearance to communicate your style words. One’s style comes through more in how pieces are put together rather than in the singular piece.
Allison writes that if a piece calls to you but doesn’t square with the rest of your wardrobe, maybe it is where you’d like your style to evolve to. Be open to buying it. Maybe it’s just the shake up that your closet needs.
Why Style Words?
The three-word method gives you power over your message. I had a client ask me once why we were finding her style words. In a slightly higher-than-normal pitch, I replied, “Because words are important!” Just as the food we feed our bodies is important, the words we feed our minds are, also.
Allison reminds her readers that the three words are a framework to guide you, not to bind you and put you in a box. Personal style is not limited to three words. If you find a piece that falls outside of your style words, remind yourself it’s how you wear it and style it. It might look like your style words when worn a certain way.
Help Finding Style Words
Allison’s advice if you are struggling to find your style words:
- Try word pairs or short phrases. A common one with my clients: Classic with a twist.
- Ask a friend. They might be able to help you discover good words for your style.
- Think of styles you admire. Describe those styles to yourself.
If you don’t see your style words in your closet, don’t despair. You are working your way there. Identify a few key pieces to purchase that will move your style in that direction.
Create a Mood Board
Allison says to make a mood board. I agree. One of the most effective ways to uncover your style and style words is to make a style visual. I advise clients to use Pinterest. A mood board shows you where your style is going. It also helps you shop smarter. Before you buy something for your wardrobe, ask yourself, “Does this belong on my mood board?” Once you have a mood board, go into your closet to see what combos you can create based on your inspo. A mood board, like the style words, gives you power over your message and style.
The AB Closet-Editing System
- Step One: Pull out what you wear all the time. These are not the pieces you wish you wore all the time but the items you actually do. Allison calls these “the regulars.” Once you’ve got these items in front of you, uncover the theme. Is it a certain silhouette, colors, or fabric types? In my case, this would be knits. I own crisp cotton, too, but knits are always my default. Ask yourself if you like what you see. If not, don’t despair. You just haven’t given yourself time to discover what sorts of clothes you really love. (Or maybe you have not allowed yourself to buy them.)
- Step Two: Identify the nevers. The nevers are items you don’t wear for various reasons. It could be pieces you hate, things you are bored with, items that don’t fit or work for your life, or it could be you don’t know how to style them.
- Step Three: Make three piles of the nevers. (a) The No Never Pile – pieces you are getting rid of. There’s someone else who will love it. Bye! (b) The Not Now Pile – items you don’t often need like a suit, a special occasion garment, or a sentimental piece. Put them in a different place either in your closet or another closet. If you need it, it will be close but not in the mix with your other pieces. (c) The How Pile – things you don’t know how to style. It could be something you loved in the store but could not decide how to wear in real life. You can think of these items as your wild cards that add spice and interest to your wardrobe. You can always call a stylist to help you work with it (ahem).
- Step Four: Celebrate the revival. Once you have finished steps one – three, you will be left with your regulars and your hows. Now, bring them together. This will shake up your look and bring fun into your everyday. Try moving items across categories like a work top for date night and vice versa.
- Step Five: Get very organized. Group categories together like dresses, pants, tops, etc. Then, organize them by color. Organization creates ease. Having an organized wardrobe makes it easier to see what you have and make outfits with what is there. You can more easily see the gaps. Don’t run out to shop. Reflect on what’s there; be intentional and strategic. Take time to understand why you got rid of certain things. It will inform your shopping.
Once you have done the five steps, stand in front of your wardrobe and see how you feel. Your “new closet” should give you a sense of calm and control. You have created a nourishing space.
From now on, think of your wardrobe as a working space rather than an archive. It is always reflecting who you are right now and who you are becoming. It isn’t a fashion showroom; you want to see yourself in there.
A wardrobe edit is an opportunity to reintroduce yourself to pieces you’ve missed or have not used in a while. It is an important step in having great style.
Building Your Wellness Wardrobe
Allison wants you to see yourself in a new way during this process. She advises us to give ourselves grace just as we would a friend. This is your time to express yourself, to enjoy your style, and to expand into new spaces. Approach your image with curiosity and kindness. How you see yourself matters. Your self-perception guides what you think is possible and what you decide to pursue. When you feel confident, your options expand.
Having a good relationship with your closet affects your relationship with your body. When your wardrobe holds things you love to wear in your current size, you are telling yourself you are worthy. Don’t stop yourself from buying things you love because you are not the size you want to be. Give yourself permission to look and feel amazing in the body you have.
The Trouble with Too Much
Most of the time, we have more clothes than we need to. Sometimes having a lot of clothes makes you feel comforted. I once worked with a client who lost everything when her family had to flea her home country. Her wardrobe was the most extensive I’ve ever seen, and once she shared her trauma with me, I understood.
Most of the time when we have a lot of clothes, we feel overwhelmed and uninspired to explore what’s there. When we edit clothes out, we forget about them and don’t mourn their absence. Don’t let the quantity overwhelm the quality in your wardrobe.
Sometimes we hate our closets or hate our clothes. If you have pieces in there you love, it’s likely you’re feeling overwhelmed and disorganized. Your closet can be a counterpoint to life’s chaos. The more inviting your closet feels, the more inspired you will feel getting dressed and making outfits.
Allison’s 9 Key Pieces
While it is difficult to say exactly what should live in one’s wardrobe, these are items Allison believes works for all style types.
- A white t-shirt. Open necklines are great for busty figures; higher necks for smaller breasts.
- A button down. If you are curvy, it could be hard to find a button down that buttons across your chest. In this case, a pop over (which doesn’t button all the way down) might be the better choice.
- A black turtleneck. This made me laugh as it has been a running joke in the family that my mother-in-law dragged my husband all over Dallas looking for a black turtleneck one year. Black isn’t great on everyone. Turtlenecks don’t work well on everyone either. I’m going to respectfully disagree with Allison on this one.
- A cozy sweater. I love a cozy knit. Sometimes we need to feel comforted by our clothing. Find a sweater that isn’t too large. We don’t want to lose you in it.
- A blazer. A blazer pulls everything together. It works for the office, for dinner, for special occasions, and more. I have a small army of blazers in my wardrobe, and I’m not sad about it.
- A trench coat. We are seeing these everywhere this spring. The trench coat has been around for over 100 years, so it’s safe to say this wardrobe item isn’t going anywhere.
- Denim. It’s hard to beat the feeling you get in a good-fitting pair of jeans.
- Trousers. I love this suggestion. Trousers are comfortable, and they jolt your wardrobe from a jeans rut. Let’s take a cue from the Europeans and get a pair of trousers.
- Belt. I once again agree to disagree with Allison. Belts don’t work for every body shape. However, if you have a defined waist, they work nicely. Go for a good quality leather belt, which will last you many years.
Allison’s Questions Before You Buy
Allison advises to shop your closet first. Then, make a wish list. Before you buy an item, ask yourself:
- Does it suit my style? Refer to your style words.
- Do I have something already that serves this purpose? Save yourself from repetition.
- Am I willing to part with something in my closet? One item in, one item out.
- Does it go with other things I own? You may not be able to answer this until you get home but try anyway.
- Do I need to purchase anything to go with it? This question saves you from having a wardrobe that is too much work and not cohesive.
- Will I regret not buying it? Sometimes the answer is yes. Often, it’s no. There are always wonderful items to buy.
- Will I be wearing it next year? Make sure it isn’t overly trendy and will look dated right away.
- Is it in my budget? Remember you are building a wellness wardrobe. If your spending is stressing you out, take a step back.
Take Your Time
I tell my clients to pace themselves when they are purchasing. Over the last two years, I have trained myself to shop and buy in a much more slowly-paced manner. I almost never purchase an item on impulse anymore. To that end, my wardrobe feels more complete. I don’t pine for much anymore. I have what I need, and I have things I love.
In the book, Allison wrote to give yourself space and time with your decisions. She suggests trying an item on, putting it on hold, go have lunch, and return to try the item again. If you love it, buy it.
My Impression
Overall, I loved Allison’s book. It was full of nuggets for anyone looking to have a better relationship with their clothes. She wants you to be open to what’s next with your style, to leave room for growth and to see where it leads. Most of all, she wants you to feel good when you look at your closet and when you get dressed.
Much of what I do with a client aligns with Allison’s philosophies. If you’d like to learn more about what I do in my edit/style session, send me an email.
Thank you for reading!
